I accidentally posted a couple comments that I meant to delete. I get spam in my comments, and hit the publish button instead of delete. So, I copied and pasted the blog post - minus the comments in a foreign language....
I don't have anything profound to note or post. But I do have something that I just posted on a forum that I frequent. I have been a member for sometime now, since almost the beginning of the separation from Jim. I began posting a reply to a new member, and it turned into something that was much longer than I intended it to be. I decided to also post it here. I am always amazed when I sit back and reflect on where I've been to where I am today. I have also included a few links at the end that I want to share. Places and reads that have helped me see the greater good, and the possibility of what the uglyness of the mess can create = Beauty.
I have some of my story here. I don't post so much about it now, but some of it is important to see what God has done.
What I have written out, I did not do to blame him (he periodically reads the forum) or to make me "look better than him". We are both at fault for so much of the hurt and harm that was done in our marriage.
I am one of those in your situations - infidelity. My husband was having an affair. I held onto the Lord. It has not been easy by any means. There are so many that question this - they question me and my decision. But the truth is, it's MY decsion. Like you, I made a commitment to my husband and God that I would Love him. This includes when I don't like him very much or his actions. Instead, I CHOOSE to love him. Day in and day out - through thick and through thin. Through his infidelity, and after.
Now, I have to add a disclaimer here - I have not been the perfect wife. After years of having my trust broken, promises broken and whatever, it didn't take very long for me to stop putting so much of an effort into things. This includes putting my hurt before him, and depression and other things that I could name.
How do you begin this journey? By going hip to hip with Jesus. Leaning on HIM for HIS strength, not your own. There have been so many times that I want to give in and give up. Do what others have told me to do - move on. But the truth is, I love my spouse. I can see a marriage for us that is none like any other because of these problems we have overcome.
We both (husband and I) need healing. When we had our daughter a little over 3 years ago, I distrusted him as a person - a whole person including him as a father and daddy to out new born. I saw him get so frustrated with her. This turned me inside out. I did not respect him. All with in five years, we bought a house, I lost a job, my husband was injured at work and went through 3 surgeries; a newborn (a first born); a lay off from that company; a bankruptcy, a repossession of a car, foreclose of that said house..... I grew weary. Our relationship broke totally. We didn't hear or see the others cries for help.
That is when I began hearing God tell me to be patient. I was just learning about having a RELATIONSHIP with Jesus, and finding my Father God. With this, I have been learning to TRUST Him. He is not like my worldly dad, and will not leave me or forsake me. He will not belittle me, He will not get mad at me, and He will AWLAYS listen to me WHENEVER I need him. It doesn't matter the problem or praise - HE will be there for me.
He is who gets me through on the dark days. He is who has spoken to me in the quiet times of the night when I can't sleep. He is who I turn to when things are not as I would have them. I know that my situation may not turn out as I would have it, but in the end - it will be what God wants for me. I have been obedient to him, and because of this I have had a wealth of blessings. There are times when I can't always see them, and all I see are the blemishes. But, I am being taken care of. I will persevere and get over the valleys and mountains that come up.
You will too.
I do have a few resources for you that I have found to be of great help and comfort:
http://cindybeall.com/?page_id=357 Here is a great start. Read from where I've pasted, then browse through her blog. This story is an AWESOME one of what can happen when we give out all to God, what he can do with a marriage that looks so bleak.
One of my favorite sites on standing for Marriage: http://rejoiceministries.org/
There is SO much good stuff here! Just start anywhere, and before you know it it will be hours later.
For just about anything God related: http://www.crosswalk.com/
A GREAT source for articles on what God can do also: www.familylife.com
For those suffering through infidelity: http://www.affairrecovery.com/
A book I highly recommend because there is a segment about a couple I personally know: http://www.amazon.com/Hope-Christ-Greg-Grotewold/dp/1597811742
These are what I can come up with off the top of my head. And of course - the Love Dare. It has changed SO many lives! And so many marriages! When I need a reminder - I re-watch the movie.
"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up" (Galatians 6:9).
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